


Homecoming

by emmerrr



Series: To live will be an awfully big adventure [8]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 20:32:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9401861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmerrr/pseuds/emmerrr
Summary: Andrew brings Neil home after he runs, and Neil has some thoughts about being anchored to a place, a team, a person.[sequel to 'come home, abram', which is part 7 in this series]





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't originally going to write another part to this but I wanted to do something from Neil's POV, holy shit these boys are hard to write for.

Neither Neil nor Andrew say a word on the drive back to campus. Neil can tell, even if Andrew won’t say, that Neil’s disappearing act has exhausted him, and he feels guilty for it even though he knows Andrew would dismiss guilt as a useless emotion.

And useless it may be, but guilt has become something Neil has grown accustomed to feeling since signing that contract with Coach almost two years ago. Guilt at what he brought down upon his Foxes, his family. What he still might, if Ichirou ever decided Neil wasn’t worth keeping, or if one of his father’s remaining people ever came for him. If anything were to happen to Neil, he knows that the Foxes would be destroyed because they _care_ about him. They care if he lives or dies; they care if he gets hurt. They care if he _runs_ , and just like that, a fresh wave of guilt washes over him.

Neil turns in the passenger seat to watch Andrew’s profile for the remainder of the drive; watches the streetlights change the shadows on his face and make his hair glow. Andrew’s eyes shift to Neil once and then away, aware of the attention, but he still says nothing and so Neil takes it as implicit permission to stare.

He must doze off, because the next thing Neil is aware of is the car stilling as Andrew cuts the engine off. He glances at Neil, eyebrows raised slightly in a question, and Neil nods. He’s ready. He's not sure what the rest of the Foxes know — if anything — about him running off, but would rather see them now and get it over with. Andrew carries Neil’s duffel inside for him, and Neil finds himself wondering if it’s because he’s afraid Neil will run off with it again if he doesn’t. The thought rankles Neil, but he’s got no one to blame but himself — why _should_ Andrew trust him after what he pulled today?

They reach their floor, and luckily no one is in the corridor to intercept them; they head straight for their room. Kevin is inside, predictably on his laptop with his headphones on, but he’s facing the door and so takes them off the moment they step inside. Neil thinks he sees relief flash across Kevin’s face, just for a second, before he schools his expression into something more neutral.

“You missed practice.”

And _there’s_ the Kevin Neil knows and loves, and a tentative smile spreads across Neil’s face. “It won’t happen again,” he says.

“It better not.” Kevin looks at his watch. “There’s still time for us to go and do night practice, then you haven’t wasted the _entire_ day.”

“No,” Andrew says in a tone that leaves no room for argument, and then he takes Neil’s duffel into the bedroom. He shuts the door behind him and Neil can hear a zip and then shuffling; Andrew is unpacking for him. Kevin looks at the closed door for a moment then turns back to Neil.

“No?” he asks incredulously.

“Not today, Kevin,” Neil affirms.

Kevin picks his headphones back up. “Don’t come crying to me when we get our asses handed to us by the Trojans next week then,” he says, and Neil just about manages to resist rolling his eyes.

He hasn’t even been gone for a full 24 hours, and yet he’s so glad to be back already.

* * *

 

The next couple of hours pass slowly. After Andrew re-emerges from the bedroom, he snags Neil’s hand and tows him up to the roof to smoke. Once he’s finished his cigarette, Andrew leans halfway towards Neil, quirks his eyebrows and then kisses Neil hard once Neil has nodded his consent. Neil feels like he’s being anchored — here, to Palmetto, to Exy, to the Foxes, to _Andrew_ , always Andrew — and he’s so overwhelmed that he breaks the kiss and presses his forehead to Andrew’s, gasping. He feels Andrew’s hand come up around the back of his neck and he closes his eyes as he tries to get his breathing under control.

“Stop it,” Andrew murmurs, and Neil lets out a breathy laugh, then reaches for Andrew’s free hand. He links their fingers together. “You’re alright,” Andrew says. “You’re home.” Neil nods, and once he feels calm again, he kisses Andrew, trying to pour into it everything he can’t say out loud.

When they eventually head back downstairs, Nicky, Aaron, and all of the upperclassmen are in their room. Kevin obviously got the word out that Neil was back then, but he still looks vaguely irritated by their presence, especially as Nicky is trying to share his beanbag chair.

“Neil!” Dan exclaims when the door shuts behind them, spotting him first. He offers her a weak smile.

“You good man?” Matt asks, thinly veiled concern evident in his expression.

“I’m f—I’m okay,” Neil says, catching himself just in time to keep from saying the ‘f’ word, but not quick enough to avoid the glare that comes from several different pairs of eyes that knew what he’d been about to say. He cringes under the weight of those stares.

Andrew casts a measured glance at the assembled Foxes, then quietly says to Neil, “Five minutes,” and pads back to the bedroom.

“See Nicky? Neil’s _fine_ ,” Aaron says snidely. “Can we go now?”

“Careful, Aaron, anyone would think you missed me,” Neil says, and Aaron scowls before giving Neil the finger and storming out.

Allison laughs, and immediately the tension leeches out of the room; Aaron’s predictable douchebag comment followed by Neil’s smart ass response obviously serves to show Neil’s family that today really was just a blip, nothing to worry about. Allison shoots Neil a considered look. “Honestly, as if you don’t get enough attention as it is.”

“Sorry,” Neil says, running a hand through his hair. “Bad day.”

Renee smiles sweetly. “As long as you’re feeling better,” she says, and Neil nods.

“Alright then, man, I guess we’ll leave you to it. You’ll be at practice tomorrow?” says Matt.

“Definitely.”

“Better be, vice-cap,” says Dan with a wink, and as they start to clear out, she hugs him briefly, and it reminds Neil of after Baltimore when Dan had hugged him after he’d spilled all his secrets. He is anchored, yet again.

Nicky is the last out. He smiles, less broadly than usual, ruffles Neil’s hair and says, “You’re gonna be the death of me, kid.”

Once they’ve gone, Andrew steps out of the bedroom and heads for the bathroom without looking at his roommates. The shower cuts on, and Neil turns to Kevin. “Does Coach know I’m back?” he asks.

“I told him,” Kevin says. “But he’d probably appreciate a courtesy call from you.”

Neil nods, and Kevin puts his headphones back on. Neil pulls his phone out of his pocket. He heard it go off several times throughout the day but hadn’t wanted to check it. Now, he sees three missed calls from Andrew, two from Coach, and seven from Nicky, as well as a string of text messages which he decides to read later. Or never — he’s not quite sure he wants to know what he put everyone through today.

When he finally calls Coach, it only rings out twice before there’s an answer.

“Josten,” Coach says curtly.

“I’m back.”

“I didn’t notice you were gone.”

Neil almost laughs.

“Practice bright and early tomorrow morning,” Coach continues.

“Yes Coach.”

* * *

 

Neil showers after Andrew and brushes his teeth. He is so, so tired. On his way back from the bathroom, Kevin is still on his laptop, and Neil stalls.

“It’s late. You gonna go to bed any time soon?”

“Just one more game,” Kevin says, and this time Neil does roll his eyes.

He goes into the bedroom, tiptoeing so as not to wake Andrew. He doesn’t bother turning on the light, he can maneuver well enough in the dark, and he’s about to crawl into his bunk when he hears Andrew shift.

“Sorry,” he whispers.

“I wasn’t asleep,” Andrew replies. “Come up here.”

Neil hesitates for all of a second before climbing up to Andrew’s bunk. “You want me to sleep up here?” Neil asks.

“Yes. Unless you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” Neil says quickly, and slides under the covers into the space Andrew has made for him. Neil and Andrew have shared a bed before, at the lodge after Baltimore, and at the house in Columbia many times since then, but it's an incredibly rare occasion at the dorms. Only if Kevin isn’t there. (Kevin is _always_ there.) Neil suspects that Andrew just doesn’t want to let Neil out of his sight and knows that if Neil were to get up in the night it would wake Andrew too. Neil doesn’t like that he’s put Andrew so on edge, but he can’t say he’s upset at having him so close by.

Eyes now adjusted to the dark, Neil can see that Andrew is staring right back at him through hooded eyes; the dark circles underneath are even more pronounced than usual, and Neil knows that it’s his fault. He tentatively reaches forward and gently cups Andrew’s cheek, running his thumb under his eye. Andrew closes his eyes at the contact. “You ran,” Andrew says quietly, and it’s the closest thing to an accusation that he’s thrown at Neil since he found him hitchhiking home on the highway.

“I know. Are you angry with me?”

Andrew shakes his head; Neil feels the movement in his hand which he has yet to remove. “I’m not angry.” Andrew's words are slightly slurred, his tiredness all too evident. “Just don’t do that again.”

“I won’t,” Neil says, and he takes his hand off Andrew’s face, letting it settle in the space between them instead.

He hopes he’s telling the truth; he never wants to run again, he never wants to give Andrew any reason to doubt him. He never wants to leave Andrew at _all_. But a part of Neil wonders if he will always feel that inclination to run on the days when he feels more Nathaniel than Neil; if all his years on the road with his mother and all of the lessons she taught him are too ingrained for him to ever be able to fully let go.

Andrew opens one eye, and catches sight of Neil’s hand on the mattress between them. He takes it in his own and pulls it close to his chest, closing his eye again. “Stay,” he murmurs. Anchor.

Neil stays.


End file.
